Europe pull it off
The Ryder cup has been retained by Europe after staging the biggest comeback since Charlton Athletic beat Huddersfield Town 7-6 after being 5-1 down with three minutes to go!!
Downton Abbey's viewing ratings plummeted as millions tuned into to see our blokes shut the mouths of those annoying "In the hole" shouting Yanks.
Man of the tournament was without a doubt Ian Poulter. Normally dressed like a black pimp, Poulter sank 6 birdies on the trot. His passion and face pulling is unparalleled. "Never have we seen such Gurning," said an inter-bred pointy-headed American who was sitting on a bridge playing a banjo.
Even Rory setting his mobile phone to Belfast time didn't phase his team mates, although Lee Westwood was heard to say "fuck" three times under his breath while practicing his putting.
The winning putt was knocked in from 5 feet by cool as ice German Martin Kaymer. "That's for having such fat women in your country," said the lean and fit athlete.
The team performance and the win was dedicated to Seve. He must be smiling as he looks down on us.
Europe you did us proud... can you guys play football?